That brought the number of my dead batchmates to four. Four of my peers have already gone since we all graduated from high school on April 1, 2007. Which seems to be an alarming statistic, if you ask me.
What an utter waste. Raeywen is too young to go. This is unfair.
When it comes to deaths, people often think of the long term: journeys not taken, dreams unfulfilled, passions unpursued. I, on the other hand, think of the smaller picture. I guess it's part of the thankless job I happen to find myself in right now, having to live day by day, story by story.
I have a feeling that someday, I will be bloody and sprawled on some hard shoulder and I'll probably be thinking of the source I will never get to follow up, the angle I will not be able to refine, and more importantly, the deadline I will definitely miss. Almost pathetic, I know.
Right now I'm upset over Raeywen's death. But I'm also feeling upset that I seem to be be growing distant from my friends, and if you think about it, that I no longer seem to care, and that I am slowly becoming estranged from the things that matter like my family and loved ones. I feel ashamed that it has come to this.
I'm also semi-annoyed with myself for not yet being able to live the life I truly want right now, so that when the time comes that I have to go, I can say that I've had no regrets. There are just too many constraints that I cannot seem to easily shake off at a moment's notice.
Nothing like a friend's death to amplify the ticking sound of the clock deep in your heart telling you to live.
- Mood:
sad - Music:Better Days--Fountains of Wayne
One of my favorite part parts in Jurassic Park (the book) is when Robert Muldoon, the park's game warden, attempts to contain the cunning velociraptors following the unbelievable shutdown of the park's power system, setting all the dinosaurs loose.
The raptors, after all, happen to be the perfect killing machines in the story. You wouldn't want to cross them; beating them back would take a supremely humongous effort. Often fatal.
Muldoon here is talking to Donald Gennaro, corporate counsel for InGen, the company that built Jurassic Park.
He turned to Gennaro. "Like to live dangerously again?"
"Not really," Gennaro said. He was very pale.
The past few weeks have been my ultimate test of stamina. 1) SM week, where all the companies of the SM group held their respective annual stockholders meetings, including a Subic trip in between where I was doubly challenged by the breakdown of our bus en route to Manila, momentarily jeopardizing my sanity, 2) ADB week, where while I had no real assigned coverage, there were pretty much ambush opportunities, mostly fail, 3) PSE stockholders meeting on a fricking Saturday, and this week 4) San Miguel week, where yes, you guessed it, all (most) of the companies of the San Miguel group will be holding their respective annual stockholders meetings.
Sometimes I feel like I have to be Muldoon, slaying all the raptors that are sure to pop around the corner, when all I really want is to be Gennaro, you know, who was supposed to have just taken quiet observations and evaluated the park's operating efficiency and the like (it was hopelessly unfit for operations).
It's, after all, a jungle out there. Did I mention the raptors?
- Location:Philippines, Cavite
- Mood: hot
- Music:These Walls--Hanson
1.
AND
2.
Fine Print Douchebaggery: Not valid on "block-out" dates and holidays, and may only be availed from Sundays to Wednesdays.
Just reply to this post if interested. :)
UPDATE (11:58 pm) : The gift certificates have already been reserved! That was quick! :)
- Location:Philippines, Pasig
"You're too uptight."
I cringe, chew my lip and nod my head in assent. An utterly all-time low.
Anyway, because I'm not one to take things negatively (HA!) I decided to come up with a list of suggested responses in case one is confronted with such an Earth-shattering revelation.
- Me, uptight? Oh sir, you are too modest. I wouldn't have done it without you!
- Personality not recognized, sir. (Ramos, 2012)
- Or so I've been told... wink wink.
- Ah yes, the sleep- and sex-deprived mind works in mysterious ways.
- Between "uptight" and "semi-deranged," well, yeah.
- Gusto ko happy ka (Enrile, 2010)
- Uh...lose the belt and pleats first then I'll see what I can do.
- You don't like it? What a shame!
- Just slightly. I try not to let anyone notice, heehee.
- Yeah, it's the "in" thing nowadays.
- Location:Philippines, Pasig
- Mood: cold
I challenged Ronin to come up with this last All Souls' Day. I really liked it. Happy Valentine's!
It was late at night and I had to get home when I remembered the tale of the red-tagged. So I rushed to the lift and made sure it closed right away. But I felt a cold touch from behind.
There was a red bracelet around the wrist that rested on my shoulder.
Then I fainted.
She’s pretty for someone pale. I woke up with my head rested on her lap and her face drew closer to mine; usually too close for comfort, but I didn’t mind.
“What happened?”
It was dark, but I’m sure I saw a smile, and I knew I was safe.
Until I realized that her breath was cold, so I pulled away.
Then there I was, I realized, back to the floor I was rushing to escape from moments ago, ogled by a woman clothed in white…
… and red-tagged.
“You’re warm…”
I could have moved, but I didn’t.
“You’re warm…”
Her soft, chilly hands crept from my hands to my cheeks, up to my ears - she moved closer as I sat still, cornered.
It was a cold night. But the hands caressing my face were colder.
“Make me feel warm…”
“I can’t…”
“Please?”
“But you’re…”
“Please?”
I couldn’t scream. Out of fear? Her soft voice rang on that basement floor corner, her eyes begging for the warmth that I couldn’t understand…
…like how her cheeks tinted red when I knew it couldn’t.
Then her arms went around me.
There was warmth in her icy lips.
- Location:Philippines, Philippine
Sometimes, being a bitch is all a woman has to hold on to.--Dolores Claiborne
I took a break from...writing (duh what else) and decided to watch the movie adaptation of Stephen King's Dolores Claiborne. It was, um, a risk I had to take since that would mean foregoing preliminary work on the three articles I was working on for Sunday. Oh well what the hell. I deserved a break anyway.
I can't remember the last time I saw Dolores Claiborne, but I recall watching it with my Dad. Anyway, I enjoyed the movie immensely, as I expected, with Kathy Bates and Jennifer Jason Leigh coming off as such fine actresses, they were practically incandescent.
Funny description though, considering how bleak and morose the movie was, both literally and figuratively. It was an emotional brick . The entire time though, I was transfixed with the character of Jennifer Jason Leigh, the New York-based journalist Selena St. George, who goes home to Maine to deal with her mother, Dolores Claiborne, who is accused of murder.
Selena's been a journalist for roughly 10+ years--I can't help but imagine myself in her shoes in the future, which is unsettling, because Selena is a depressed alcoholic who is extremely competitive and can't come to terms with her past. I have this feeling that I, along with my young colleagues, are on the slow and painful path toward becoming the editorial monsters we have come to fear and loathe.
Anyway, shockingly, this is the kind of stuff I'm attracted to lately. Up next, I'm thinking of watching The Stand (good luck, it clocks around three hours last I checked) and Children of the Corn. Stephen King, why do you haunt me so.
Photo credit: www.virtual-history.com
- Location:Philippines, Pasig
Clearance. You may apply for a university clearance at the Office of the University Registrar starting April 18, 2011. The clearance is a requirement for the release of the official transcript of records (OTR) and the diploma. Please check the status of your application at the One-Stop Student Clearance (OSCC) at 981-8500 ext. 4555 or 4556.
Transcript. Please note that transcripts will be processed only after a graduate has applied for a clearance. Transcripts are released only when the university clearance has been secured. Processing of transcripts may take much longer than usual because of the volume of requests during the months of May to July.
INSTRUCTIONS ON GETTING A UNIVERSITY CLEARANCE and A TRANSCRIPT OF RECORDS
1. File your application for clearance before leaving the University. A clearance indicates that you have settled all accountabilities with the University. To avoid any inconvenience or delay in future transactions with the University, it is advisable that you settle your accountabilites before graduation or at the latest, before you leave the University. Having secured a university clearance will facilitate the release of your diploma and the processing of your TOR in the Future.
2. Pay the graduation fee of P300.00 at the Cashier's Office (beside PNB). Present the official receipt and the accomplished form for clearance to the assigned personnel at the One-Stop Clearance Center (OSCC).
3. If you intend to apply for a TOR, please fill out the application form for the transcript and have it assessed by the assigned Transcript personnel. Pay the transcript fee at the Cashier's Office and present the official receipt to OSCC personnel, together with the application for transcript and your clearance. Keep your official receipt and present it when claiming your TOR.
4. Please note that your application for University clearance has to be approved first before your application for transcript will be acted upon. Kindly check the status of your application for the University clearance at the OSCC at 981-8500 ext. 4555.
5. If your application for clearance has been approved, you may follow up your application for TOR after two (2) months. Transcripts may take longer to process during the months of May to July, considering the volume of requests during this peak period.
6. If you are applying for the Board/Bar Examinations or for admission to medical schools, please indicate it on your application form for transcript and follow up on your application one month before the deadline for the said examinations.
- Location:Philippines, Pasig
- Mood:busy
Coffee
You always smelled of coffee. The rich, strong brew that you always liked sipping every morning before going to class. It permeated your collar, your shirt buttons, and the dark green planner you always brought wherever you went, being the borderline obsessive-compulsive person you were, which I found endearing of course
You were sipping a tall frappe when I first met you and solving a sudoku puzzle. I, of course, was plucking at my guitar, trying to perfect that opening riff that has eluded me for so long.
Then just like in one of those cliche-ridden movies, your eyes met mine, all squinty and cute because of the sun that was fiercely burning overhead.
I think I saw you smile.
Cigarettes
I needed the cigarettes, not you. Seriously. I was the one dealing with algorithms and equations everyday, while you molded clay and threw colored oils across worn-out canvasses. Just kidding. I always liked watching you in your perfect drainpipe jeans, hunched over your easel with your tools, seeing you create beauty right before my very eyes.
Your hands. God I loved those hands. Irritatingly feminine, but surprisingly strong and nimble. Slipping my fingers between yours just made me feel a little safer in this scary fucked-up world.
God, I don't know why the hell I let them go.
***
I really don't know what happened after we drifted. It seems like a dementor swooped down and sucked out all the life in us. Must have been all the tons of caffeine and nicotine and hurt and love in between us. We simply ceased to exist.
At the end of the day, I guess I haven't figured out what's worse: you pretending that you care, or me pretending that I don't.
Photo Credit: http://tengil1ismyname.wordpress.com
- Location:Philippines, Manila
- Mood:
tired - Music:Your Love--Outfield
05 January 2008
So-post Iowa caucus. Just as I was thinking, Hillary did not win, Obama did. In fact, she was overtaken by Edwards for 2nd place. Obama has every reason to be optimistic, even in New Hampshire, where is not so competitive. On the other hand, Hillary's loss is quite major, and she has to rebound in other states, most especially in New Hampshire on Tuesday.
Edwards is a puzzle, though: the fact that he placed 2nd when he was expected and should have been 1st is bad news. He is in deep trouble, no doubt. I predict Edwards dropping out shortly after New Hampshire. Unlike 2004, this year's 2nd place finish was hollow because Edwards was predicted to do well in the first place.
I really don't care about the Republicans. It is clear that a Democrat will win in November, no matter whom they field, simply because 1) of the novelty of the presumed Democratic candidate, whether it be Hillary or Obama and 2) their lack of a similar strong candidate with a magnetic personality. Mike Huckabee, the Iowa winner, has a limited base, a base whose popularity may be slowly weakening (the religious Right, Christian evangelicals, etc.). Maybe Rudy Giuliani? He placed 6th, by the way.
***
REP. MICHELE BACHMANN, seen here at the 2011 Iowa State Fair trying to digest a corn dog whole, won the Iowa Straw Poll last summer. Now the Tea Party darling's presidential candidacy may just be on life support. Looks like she bit off more than she could chew. (Credit: Buzzfeed.com)
John Edwards did drop out after New Hampshire, after the Florida primary, and just before Super Tuesday, where he would have been surely beaten to a pulp had he stayed on. Interestingly, I did not seem to have mentioned John McCain, the eventual Republican nominee, at all. If I recall right the Republican field was a toss-up at this point: McCain was floundering, Romney and Thompson not doing so well. The top stars were Huckabee and Giuliani, with Giulian banking on a huge win in Florida. He failed to do so, and later dropped out.
The evangelicals have not weakened at all, but yeah, it's the narrowness of Huckabee's base that contributed to his downfall and led to the nomination of the more broadly-appealing McCain.
The 2012 Republican Iowa caucuses close in a few hours. Romney is expected to clinch the win here, but not without a fight from Texas Rep. Ron Paul and ex-Pennsylvania Sen. Rick Santorum. With Santorum's recent surge, clearly, evangelicals will still play a huge role in nominating the next Republican presidential candidate. Let's see what the Hawkeye State will offer this time.
- Location:Philippines, Pasig
- Music:Dog Days Are Over--Florence + The Machine
Explanatory a.k.a. andaming alam
Need fast approval personal cash loan? Avail up to 2M loan for as low as 1.28% int/month No collateral & No co-maker. It can be use to consolidate other credit card & loan obligations. Pls call/text Ms. ROSE for more info.
Caring a.k.a. Messiah-like
Hi, This is Rey. NEED A LOAN? Very low interest. 50k to 2M. Answers any of your financial needs. Feel free to call or text, Thank you very much, God bless and have nice day
Friendly a.k.a. Sino ka
Hi, I’m Mr. Felix we offer a personal cash loan 2 all CREDIT CARD HOLDER 4 mor dan 3 yrs! Fast approval, for as low as 1.2%, intrstd, call/txt
Jejemon. Nuff said powhz.
…WaNt CaSh LoAn? vrY lo inTrsT, nly 1.3%. FaSt ApPröval (message not completed)
Understanding a.k.a. prolly has other things to do
We are offering fast cash loan, avail of 2M personal loan, only 1% interest. Disregard the msg. if not interested. Tnx.
If only I received the same amount of messages of the sensible, friendly kind, then maybe I wouldn’t be too insane. Just maybe.
- Location:Philippines, Pasig
Profile
![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif?v=91.7)
thefisieuxfiles- Franz Jonathan G. de la Fuente
Syndicate
